Holy crappers, has it been that long? I hate to say it but man, have I been slackin’.

To any and all readers who may be out there and wondering what the fuck happened to the crazy asshole who wrote these wordy, fanatically TL;DR reviews (readers who, through some inexplicable miracle of internet goodness & mayhem have boosted my site views to LITERALLY OVER 9,000!!!), I apologize for the sad, Dust Bowl-rivalling drought this site has gone through over the past almost-year. The good news, though, is that I’M BACK!!!!! Yes, after oh-so many months of job hurdles, livelihood-juggling, musical endeavors, general laziness, and other human being-related minutiae, I have come to deliver some “thoroughly exhaustive, delightfully in-depth” [Editur’s Noote: Trademarked, bitches] movie reviews for your pop culture-addicted minds to get tweaked on!!!!!!

Well…not quite yet.

I still have to decide which movie I’m gonna write about, and I want to make it something good for my…er, triumphant? [Edtior’s Note: Try “guilt-ridden”] return. I have been watching many, many films in the time I’ve been gone, and especially recently as my desire to write about flicks has been growing back. Hopefully it takes a day or two, but I’m not prepared yet. I will, however, provide you with a brief update of some grand movie-related news in my personal life that is proudly delivered:

LOFT LOGO COLOR

I got a job at The Loft Cinema, an independent non-profit movie theater located in my hometown of Tucson, AZ! That’s right, Tucson – Seth MacFarlane’s favorite town to inexplicably deprecate! Too bad one of the most cinematically loyal, culturally significant & unique movie theaters in the country is located amongst the ball-punchers Seth MacFarlane, you glorious, Cosmos-beckoning FUCK! [Eidters not: Sorry. Personal conflictions coming out.] But yes, instead of just sitting on the sidelines bitching about an industry I have no active part in, I am now employed at a badass movie theater, and thusly, PART OF THE MOVIE INDUSTRY SORT OF!!! It’s a soul-affirming, exciting turn of events in my life that I just thought I’d share with all of you since it’s somewhat relevant.

Man…I don’t really know if I’m just talking to myself or what. Honestly one of the reasons I haven’t come back in a while is because I feel like these words are going nowhere, out into some internet black hole of absurd oblivion. But, if there ARE viewers out there – and, at 9,453 views, there just might be – I urge ALL of you to comment on my reviews to share your thoughts, criticize mine, or otherwise just shoot the shit! You can also reach me by e-mail at ishouldbeafilmcritic@gmail.com, so get to writin’ me, y’allz! Help me to help you help me to write movie reviews to help you! And then I just might stick around and continue delineating the Continuous Journey of One Man’s Thought Process Throughout His Journey Through Cinema!

….or don’t say shit! I’m gonna keep writing the goddamn movie reviews anyway, even I am just talkin’ to a digital wall. For that is why WE FIGHT AND DIE BY THE SWORD! Or in my case, the pen! Or rather, the laptop…keyboard…..or something….aw fuck, why did view counter stop going up?

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